The Good, The Bad, and The Truth of Dating Outside Your Culture

     People are always curious to know what it's like to date outside of their own culture. It's something that everyone is curious about when your culture and lives can be vastly different. Aary and I have been together for 18 months and have been living together for 15 of those months. Throughout that time I've learned a lot about not only myself but how much culture affects who a person is. Today, I want to give my thoughts on what I've learned and experienced during that time.  

    Let's start off with the good parts of dating outside your culture. The most obvious thing is being able to immerse yourself in a new culture. Learning about new traditions, languages, and foods will never get old. You can also get a different outlook on history and how it has actually affected different cultures. My favorite thing is being able to blend cultures together. For instance, being able to take an American dish and put an Indian twist on it is so much fun! Merging traditions together so that we both can properly celebrate things has been amazing. Just this past week I turned 21, and in my culture, everyone sings "Happy Birthday" to you and then you all share the cake together. However, in Aary's culture, everyone takes turns feeding birthday cake to the person who is celebrating. Aary sang to me while I blew out the candles, and then he fed me the first bite of cake! I've also loved learning about my partner's religion because it is so different than mine. I'm able to have a different insight into the world after mixing two cultures together, and I believe it's made me even more loving and accepting of others. 

Diwali 2022

    Now let's talk about some of the bad things. The term bad is relative to each person, so take this with a grain of salt! One of the hardest parts of dating outside your culture is getting acceptance. Typically, traditional cultures have a difficult time accepting someone who isn't from their own culture. It can take a huge toll on not only the couple but also the family dynamic of the person whose culture isn't accepting. Another negative can be the difference in religions. In most circumstances, religion plays a big part in who you are and what you believe in, so sometimes it can be really hard to get someone to understand a religious aspect when they aren't in the religion. As much as I love learning about Hinduism, there are parts of it that I just can't accept because I'm simply not Hindu. Something I've seen in other relationships, including mine, is gender roles. In a lot of cultures, gender roles are HUGE. The man works and supports the family while the wife takes care of the home and children. This somewhat applies to American culture, but it is way more normalized in my culture to swap gender roles. Men help around the house and the woman can work full-time. However, in Aary's culture, it is very uncommon for it to be normal for the woman to be the breadwinner while the man helps at home. I wouldn't necessarily label these as bad things, but they are difficult.

    The truth of dating outside your culture is that it's going to be hard. No matter who you are or how strong you are as a person, it is hard. The culture doesn't matter, anything that is different than yours will have things in it that an unfamiliar to you. There are going to be things that don't make sense to you, such as traditions, dishes, religious aspects, and family dynamics. Yes, depending on the culture they can be familiar which will make it easier, but there will always be a few things different. Love is love, no matter what. Sometimes you fall in love with someone from across the world and that shouldn't be looked at as wrong. It will always be hard trying to merge different cultures, religions, family dynamics, and more, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it! You will always receive hate from close-minded people for going outside the norm, but it is your choice to continue fighting for your love. If Aary and I listened to what others thought of us and our relationship, we simply wouldn't be together. However, our love is more powerful than hate. 

    It may be hard dating outside your culture, but fighting for love is always worth it. Throughout the hate and difficulties, the love you share with your partner is far more valuable. I will never regret dating outside my culture. The beauty of all the new things I've gotten to experience through Aary's culture has been life-changing.  The mixing of two cultures has been beautiful and you won't ever see us apologizing for falling in love with someone who is different.