Where things went wrong

         I haven't quite figured out where exactly things went wrong. In my opinion, it was a string of events that led both parties to their wits' end. I do want to preface that I don't have any hate towards his parents or family. I love them and truly think that they're amazing people. However, they haven't been able to open their hearts or minds to the idea of cultural mixing.

    December was the month when things started to go downhill. First, Aary decided he wanted to move out completely and live with me. Now if you know Indian culture, you know that a man does not traditionally move in with the woman. This caused a slew of issues between his parents and I. I couldn't wrap my head around why they were so against it. If his parents had offered us to live with them, I would've considered it. To this day, they still bring up how wrong they think it is, but they accepted the fact that he was going to live with me. Next, was the fact that Aary and I had adopted our puppy Thea. They insisted that it would ruin our lives and we couldn't do anything with the responsibility of a dog. I was absolutely baffled that they were genuinely mad at Aary for getting me a dog. Growing up, at minimum we always had 2 dogs and 3 cats. I come from a family of animal lovers and I truly can't imagine not having a pet by my side. I brushed it off and went about my life, because there are way bigger issues to worry about. We spent Christmas with his family and I was heartbroken not to spend it with my family.  We had lunch with his parents and brother, exchanged gifts, and that was it. However, his mom made a comment that will stick with me forever. I thanked her for celebrating a holiday that isn't important to them, and explained how much it meant to me. Without hesitation, she glances up from the table and goes "we would do this for anyone, it's not special." I was devastated for the rest of the day and I don't think I'll ever understand why she responded that way. 

    January was a crazy month when it came to the family situation. Aary got covid on my birthday, and his parents were upset he wanted to quarantine with me and not them. I was exposed and couldn't go do anything, so I decided quarantining with him and celebrating at home was best. A week later, it was his dad's birthday, so we all went to dinner together. It wasn't a bad time, but it also wasn't the best. His dad and I have bickered quite a few times, but this was the first incident. He was trying to tell me about photography and how to take a photo. I respectfully disagree. A common thing in their culture is to not talk back to their parents. Well, I can tell you, in American culture it is not the same. I simply looked at his dad and told him he was wrong, and I didn't care enough to argue with him. I felt like I had just insulted the pope by the look in his face. We ended the night and things were off after that. Every time I saw them, it was uncomfortable. His mom would force me to watch Bollywood movies that had underlying messages. His parents were mad that when they would invite me over for dinner, I wouldn't clean up after them. I am not going to clean up after grown adults that invited me over as a guest. Offering is always respectful, but his parents had pulled this move multiple times before. They would invite us over and have us cook dinner for them, because we were "kids". I was fed up at not being seen as an adult, an equal. 

    The final straw for me was a few weeks before Aary's 24th birthday. His mom's best friend and business partner was in town and wanted to meet me. I told Aary we could maybe meet them for dinner, but it wasn't important to me at the time. Aary and I were told to show up at 7pm for dinner at their apartment, so we did. No one was there. He calls his mom and she goes " Oh yea, we're out, but I figured you both would cook and have dinner ready." I felt very disrespected by that statement. If she had asked earlier and was polite, I would've had no issue prepping dinner. I told Aary to sit down and we'd wait for them to show up and we would finally say something. The front door opens and they walk into the room, along with a random man. I can see why some of you may say "Katie, that's not a big deal, come on!" That's where you're wrong, it is a big deal. I find it extremely disrespectful to invite us over and not be there, then expect us to cook for you, and finally you show up with an unexpected random person. I had an attitude and I wanted to get out of there so badly. His parents ignored me and eventually said hi while giving me a glass of wine. I sat there awkwardly when the best friend started to talk to me. She asked me what I wanted for my future and other things like that. I had told her how badly I want to model in Asia, specifically South Korea, Japan, or Singapore. Something to note, his dad hated the idea of me modeling internationally. He was convinced I would rip Aary away from his family and job, which is not true. I started to notice dirty looks from his parents so I shut up. That was until they started making fun of the man for being a vegan. I agree with him on how bad the dairy and meat industry is, especially since I grew up in the Midwest seeing the good and bad of farming. There was a lot of silence afterwards until the dog started to bark. I grabbed the leash, and used Thea as an excuse to leave. I was done, and Aary knew why.